England: Cesspool, Gallows, Hospital

This blog post represents how I might have spent a day in the life as a common folk in 17^th century London.

London, 14 February 1667

                I woke up in the morning to discover that my favorite waistcoat had been swarmed by nits and lice. What a wonderful way to start the day! As I put on my only other coat, I wondered what I would do for a diversion that morning. As my time surgeoning was currently being done by someone else (it was my day off), I had the entire day to myself. I took a step outside, only to discover that someone had been kind to dispose of a pile of feces in the small patch of grass that held its residence immediately outside my house. I decided I would find a child to clean it up for a few shillings when I returned home. 

                As I stepped through the muck and grime that seemed to cover only my house (although it may have just been the type of morning, I’m sure everyone else felt the same way), I pondered what would a suitable form of entertainment for the day. I recalled hearing word that there would an execution in an hour or two. I decided to make a trip down to the common to see if it had already occurred. It hadn’t. The convicted was up on the gallows when I arrived, with his last words being read aloud. He stepped up on the platform; the gallowman put the noose around his neck, and in a few seconds, snap! His life was over. I wondered what it would feel like to have that be your exit out of life, but I applauded and cheered along with the rest of the crowd.

                Although I would not have to cut anyone open that morning, it occurred to me that I may have to stop by the hospital anyway. I was in possession of a huge cut on my forearm from an incident a few days previous involving a wrought-iron fence and a fall down a set of stairs, and it only appeared to be getting worse as the days passed. I asked to see a friend of mine, Dr. Nathaniel Fairfax. Dr. Fairfax is a well-known physician around London, and he is widely reputed for his writings in “A Treatise of the Bulk and Selvedge of the World. Wherein the Greatness, Littleness, and Lastingness of Bodies are freely handled.” Nathaniel greeted me cordially, and, knowing exactly why I was there, began to prepare a tonic which would appeal to my 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th humours (choler and the two types of bile). While the potion was stewing (‘twas a vile concoction made of only the rarest moss on an unburied skull, snails, and woodlice) he reopened my wound to let some of the blood with a sharp scalpel. As the bleeding stopped, I ingested as much of the mixture as I possibly could. Dr. Fairfax then smiled at me and sent me on my way, saying that that was all he could do at the moment, but suggested acquiring a hare’s foot to wear as a magical medicine.

                Since the day was nearing a midpoint, I decided to return home for dinner. I wondered what my housekeeper had prepared for me that day. I imagined something delightful, as usual. Upon my arrival, I was unsurprised to see a delectable spread of fish, meat, and sweet pies. This wonder was then removed from the table, and each item was brought back in to me separately. I devoured this first course, only stopping to breathe. I chased this down with a mug of some heavily-watered down beer before migrating out into the garden for a dessert of sweetmeats and fruit, a wonderful way to end a wonderful meal. As I settled down to write some letters, I recollected my thoughts about the day. I thought about the mess outside my house, the public execution which got my mind wandering so unusually, the highly practical treatment of my wound, and the wonderful supper that I had just consumed. I thought to myself “What a nice day it’s been,” before promptly falling asleep for the day.

Above- A wealthy-middle-class-style Tudor house in 17^th century England.

Pictography:

“Large Tudor House Located Near Birmingham, England”. Marjorie Grimshaw and HiIlary Tulloch. http://www.grimshaworigin.org/Webpages2/GrimshawHallKnowle.htm#Webpage Credits